At times I stop and think about the sharp contrast between my grandmothers role in my life and my role in my own grandchildrens lives.
My grandmothers were more like priceless relics sitting on a shelf. You loved them,…knew they were ‘there’,..but their part in my life started and ended with the length of our visits. There was no day-to-day interaction, and no feeling that I was ‘missing’ something because of it.
Raising kids was left solely to mother and father, in fact, there was a distinct line in the sand of “in-put” - god-forbid if that line was crossed. Back then a grandparent choosing to interject their opinion without being asked for it, was a ‘relationship’ decision that could set off a round of family-feuds it would take generations to resolve.
It always seemed that my grandmothers ‘had it all together’. As though they had plotted a course in life and HERE (wherever here was) is precisely where they intended to be. There was an obvious absence of ‘hustle-n-bustle’ and constant movement around their household, short of making mad dashes to the freezer for more cookies. There were no ’self-improvement’ or ‘How to have it ALL’ books laying on the coffee table, (Or anywhere else in the house),..that spot was reserved for only one book, a well worn Bible.
My grandmothers never appeared to be searching for anything, much less themselves. They seemed to have found all the answers in life,…to all the questions they cared to ask. They were at peace, and never seemed bothered or unsettled about any lingering unknowns.
There came a time when they appeared to have declared themselves “Done”. All that was left now - was to sit back and enjoy the end of the ride surrounded by doting children, over-rambunctious grandchildren and great-grandchildren.
Every day was a ‘notch’ on the belt of life. The daily accomplishment was ‘existing’. When they passed away,..it was sad,…but it was what they were ‘living for’….and anticipating, like the final chapter of a well written book. They were expectant of death and when it knocked, they were there waiting at the door, bag’s packed and ready to go.
Their lives seemed so ‘neat’ and ‘tidy’,…’uncomplicated’ and ’sure’.
When I think of a word to describe them,..the words “COMPLETE” and “CONTENT” come to mind.
Their grandparenting experience could not be more opposite of my own...yet,..despite the difference between the ‘interaction level’ with our grandchildren, we both accomplished the same thing. We played an intricate part in who our grandchildren are.
My grandmothers ever constant living example of FAITH IN GOD changed me forever. As I grew up and started to question everything and everyone,…and saw most ‘religious’ people as ‘hypocrites’ detouring my own spirituality, I could never ‘deny’ the existence of God because of my grandmothers unwavering and ever vigilant belief in Him. She didn’t talk about him like he was ‘up there’ and she was ‘down here’,…she talked about him like a woman having a ‘love affair’ with the perfect man. The twinkle in her eyes as she talked about how he loved her, looked out for her, and cared about her…fascinated me. I don’t believe in God because of a book, but because of my grandmothers impregnable and compelling personal relationship with him.
What I realize in retrospect,..comparing our two grandparenting experiences is this -
IT DOESN’T TAKE MUCH TIME TO MAKE A LIFE CHANGING DIFFERENCE IN A CHILD’S LIFE.
Just frequent visits on the week ends, the holidays and a card on Birthdays,…and I was forever touched by them.
Grandparents Make A HUGE Difference and I believe God is counting on it!
