One thing I ‘like to do’ is challenge myself to be consciously aware of what is going through my granddaughters heads when I’m speaking to them. To realize and acknowledge that I am dealing with little people who have a ‘very limited’ view of life and ‘very few experiences’ to filter the information they see and hear. I make a point of understanding that what I THINK I am saying may not be with they hear, and to catch it if that is the case. It takes patience and it takes time, to do it.
Being a Mom to my grandchildren is a totally different experience than being the mom I was to my own kids. I have the rare opportunity of HINDSIGHT to refer to. I have the consequences and results of my first attempt at ‘parenting’ to learn from. That is POWERFUL when you think about it! And once I grasped onto just what an opportunity that was,…I made it my mission to right the wrongs I knew of,…and to implement the things I wish I had first time. But that is another post to come! *lol*
Anyway,
One of the girls favorite things to do is to go to the lake swimming. We went out there the other day and after about an hour of swimming a fast developing storm moved in, so we left. The saying in Nebraska is: “If you dont like the weather, wait 20 minutes”. By the time we got into town torrential rains were flooding the streets. My husband made the comment: “If it keeps raining like this the whole town will be flooded”.
Now “I” knew that he was talking about the streets being flooded, but I glanced back and saw the twins faces and they had PANIC written all over them. I asked what they were thinking,…and they told me how they saw the pictures of New Orleans in their weekly-readers after Katrina, and how the people were on the roof of their houses and some died because of the flooding!
THAT IS WHAT “FLOODING” MEANT TO THEM.
I explained the kind of ‘flooding’ that Grandpa was referring to, which created a totally different picture in their minds of “flooding”. Now they have a couple different definitions to work with when they hear the word.
I thought about how many times as a first time mom I was “too quick to answer”,…I “assumed too much”,…and how much of the time I “was oblivious” to the thought of “What are my kids thinking?” Parenting the first time was much more “Fast-paced” for me, I guess because I worried about EVERYTHING. But as a grandparent I know that it is pointless to worry about everything and can focus on what I know is important.
What I am talking about is a gift that only a grandparent can give a child because it isn’t JUST time, it is experience,…that gives you the confidence to let go of things that are unimportant.
Giving your grandchildren the gift of your TIME and UNDERSTANDING influences their perspective of the world, which in turn, changes their lives forever.
